RiPleY's CoLLecTioN

On Saturday, I visited a friend who is recovering from a surgery recently. It is not just any other surgery. She had cancer growth in a few of her organs and this is a relapsed. The week before, she called me and a friend who are close to her right before she goes into the surgery room to let us know that she is going in for surgery and just in case she don’t make it out, she just want to let us know first. My friend and I were shocked of course but we knew she will get through the surgery. She is a tough and positive person.

As I spoke to her on Saturday, she told me frankly she had prepared for the worst and she had no regrets in life. She told me that right before her surgery, things were going through her head and she asked herself, “What if I can’t make it out? Is there anything that I forgot to do?”. She couldn’t think of anything. That was a good answer. If anyone of us were to be in her position now, I think there will be things that we wished we could have done.

Although she is still awaiting another result from the US and even if she makes it through the whole ordeal again, chemo and all, she don’t know how many more years she can live. 1 year, 2 years, 5 years maybe? No one knows. That hit me. I was speechless, I didn’t know how to react. I didn’t know how to reply her. I was lost for words. Things were running through my mind. I couldn’t bear losing a good friend whom we have shared so many great memories, the ups and downs over the years. The thought of her dying hit me like a rock. All this time I was trying to console myself saying things will be OK. Think positive. But at that moment, when she so openly accepted death. It was a new experience for me. I mean, I have experienced death before, like my grandparents and relatives, but I never had conversations like this with them before.

I was controlling myself not to cry. Hey, my friend was even stronger than me. I can’t be crying and let her console me? Geez….and so, we spent 3 hours talking about everything. The old times, the people we knew, the gossips and of course, her take on life.

I don’t know what else I can do. All I could do is to be there for her, give her support and let God decide the rest. I am sure there is a reason for all this. I don’t know when God needs my friend back with him, but I am just being slightly selfish and hope it is not so soon.

Gosh, it is just February and already so many bad news. Let’s just hope this is the end of it.

I guess everyone has to go through such life lessons to truly understand and cherish the people around them and not just say things without taking action. It is sad but that’s just how human beings are. I think I need to start writing things down on a piece of paper and keep it safely somewhere so that if anything were to happen to me, at least my family and friends know that I love them very much.

This entry was posted on Monday, February 22nd, 2010 at 1:17 am and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.